June 2012
Me: Ugh I'm so fat
Me: Ugh I'm so depressed
*2 minutes later*
Me: Maybe this carton of ice cream, plate of cookies, box of cereal, jar of peanut butter, plate of brownies and can of whipped cream will make me feel better.
do you ever just cry because you’re you
Fuck everyone who walked out on me.
sweetthingsneverlast:
and thank you for those who stayed.
I really really don't want to eat ever again.
annawintour:
you are now aware of your blinking and breathing bye
Shout out to the people who actually listen to the...
me texting my mom: okay, see you at home. love you.
my mom texting me: C u l8r. Luv u 2.
Friendly reminder that bacteria are having sex on your skin
at least someone is getting some fun here
yokunai:
breathe if you think i’m hilarious
just a friendly reminder that right now there are millions of people having sex and you’re on the computer by yourself in your room
the-sh0w:
tumblr, the newest form of birth control
mom: ok u wait in line i forgot to get the milk
me: ok
me:
me:
me:
me: mom where are you please
me: mom please the line is moving fast
me: mom i cant breathe where r u it's almost my turn
employee: next
me:
employee:
me: faints
I hate that moment when you seem to be getting...
Me: *waiting to be attractive*
I hate when people don’t understand my sarcasm they ruin everything
theandersonhummelshow:
congrats to my internet friends for knowing things about me that i don’t even tell my closest friends
